Wikipedia: MARRIAGE AND FAMILY AMONG THE HINDUS

 

Wikipedia: MARRIAGE AND FAMILY AMONG THE HINDUS

Before we discuss specific institutions of the Hindus in India, let us emphasise how widely spread this community is. Consequently, in the areas of marriage or family, there are regional variations. What you will read in these pages is a generalisation covering the common elements and mentioning in passing about

the variations. By and large, to marry and raise a family is a sacramental activity for the Hindus. Let us first look at the institution of marriage and then at the family in the Hindu community.

Hindu Marriage Picture.

Hindu Marriage :-

Marriage is a sacred duty for all Hindus. It is an obligatory sacrament because the birth of a son is considered by many Hindus as necessary for obtaining moksha. In order to perform important rituals towards gods and ancestors, the sacred texts decree that it is obligatory for a Hindu to be married and have male descendants. 

Today, a large number of Hindus may, however, not believe in and practice these traditional ideas and associated customs. Marriage is considered to be one of the sacraments sanctifying the body, mind and soul of the groom and bride. Therefore at the proper age and time, every Hindu woman and man is expected to get married.

 A wife is considered to be instrumental in helping her husband fulfil the four kinds of purushartha,namely, dharma, artha, kama and moksha (see Section 15.2). According to this view of marriage, a man is thought to be incomplete without wife and children. 

Figure 15.1 demonstrates the traditional Hindu marriage. When we discuss Hindu marriage, we should also speak of the eight forms of marriage, which describe the ways marriages are traditionally consecrated among the Hindus.

Eight Forms of Hindu Marriage :-

Before enumerating these eight forms, let us make it clear that here we are not talking about the usual usage in sociology regarding the forms of marriage. In sociology we discuss monogamy, polygamy and group marriage etc. under the topic of forms of marriage. In that respect, it will suffice to note here that monogamy (i.e., a man is married to one woman at a time) is the usual form of marriage among the Hindus. But various forms of polygamy are also found in the Hindu community. A widow is allowed to remarry among lower castes.

Higher castes usually prohibit widow marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955 permits divorce on the grounds of insanity, leprosy, adultery, etc. A detailed discussion on these points has already been given in unit 7 of Block 2 of this course. Coming back to the forms of marriage among the Hindus, only the first four of the following eight forms bring purification to ancestors on the sides of father and mother, the remaining four forms produce no such value (Pandey 1976: 159-169). The eight forms are given below.

i) The Brahma form: It comprises the gift or giving away of the daughter by the father to a man, who has learnt the Veda.

(ii) The Daiva form: It involves the giving away of the daughter by the father to a priest, who duly officiates at a sacrifice, during the course of its performance.

(iii) The Arsha form: It consists of the daughter being given away by the father to a man after receiving a cow and a bull from the bridegroom, not with an intention of selling the child, but in accordance with the

requirement of the dharma.

(iv) The Prajapatya form: In this form of marriage, the father gives away his daughter to the bridegroom and addresses the couple to perform their dharma together.

(v) The Asura form: It involves a payment by the bridegroom to the bride’s father for obtaining a wife.

(vi) The Gandharva form: Here the bride and the bridegroom agree to marry at their own consent. Such a decision to marry is consequently consecrated by going through the sacred rites of marriage.

(vii) The Rakshasa form: This is described as a marriage, through force.

(viii)The Paishacha form: In this form, a man first seduces a woman (who may be intoxicated or mentally retarded) and subsequently marries her.

Of these eight forms of marriage, the giving away the daughter by her father described in the first four is considered as the ideal form. The right to give a maiden in marriage is held by the father, the grandfather, the brothers, the kinspersons and the mother, in that order.

The Hindus lay stress on pre-marital chastity on the part of both the male and the female (Prabhu 1979: 153-154). The marital bond is also to be respected through mutual fidelity. There are also forms of endogamy (marriage within a certain group) and exogamy (marriage outside the group) for which rules are laid down. 

These rules are designed to regulate the Hindu marriage in the sense of specifying the choice of spouses within specific groups (see sections on Rules of Marriage in units 8 and 9 of Block2 of ESO-12).

Endogamy :-

The widest category of endogamy for a Hindu is his or her varna. Within each varna are several castes and sub-castes which are considered to be the categories for endogamy in the region. We do also come across some inter- caste/ inter-subcaste marriages in contemporary times. Yet, these are few and far between. The rule of caste/ subcaste endogamy is the prescribed mode followed by most of the Hindus all over India.

Exogamy :-

As regards the rule of exogamy, a Hindu is enjoined not to marry within his own gotra. The word ‘gotra’ in this context denotes one’s extended family or the clan. The gotra of a family is usually named after the ancestor who founded the family. People with a common ancestor are not allowed to marry each other. At present, the rule of exogamy is usually defined in terms of prohibition of marriage within five generations on the mother’s side and seven generations on the father’s side. However this rule can be circumvented by letting someone of a different gotra do the kanyadaan, that is the rite of giving the daughter away in marriage (Madan 1965). There is a clearly defined limit upto which persons are considered to be related in such a way that their marriage cannot be permitted.

The Hindu Family :-

For a Hindu, the event of marriage signifies the completion of the brahmacharya ashrama i.e., the stage of a celibate-life. Marriage heralds the beginning of the householder stage (grihastha). Now, begins the process of the preservation and continuity of the kula or the family. A Hindu home symbolises the continuity of its living members, past members that are no more and future members that are yet to come. 

The living members are considered to be the trustees of the home. It is supposed to belong to the ancestors and includes the interests of the male descendants of the family. The individual as such does not belong to the home. One only performs one’s dharma. The home is the place where dharma and karma are practised by the

people who are enjoined to remain detached yet conduct the affairs of the world (Prabhu 1979: 216-217). For a Hindu, his or her life in the stage of a householder is lived and regulated in terms of dharma and karma. In performing these two activities, one also performs one’s artha and kama. This process leads one towards the final goal, moksha.

The Form of Hindu Family :-

The most striking feature of a Hindu family is its jointness. That is to say the unit of residence is often not confined to the parents and their children only. It usually includes three generations living under the same roof and sharing the family property in common. Concerning the joint family and the nuclear family among the Hindus, unit 6 of Block 2 of ESO-12 gives a fairly detailed description. What we need to emphasise again is that the joint family (in India in general, and among the Hindus in particular) is believed to be the ideal form of family. In practice, we find many combinations and permutations of family living among the Hindus.

Relations among Family Members :-

As the concepts of dharma and karma are so much a part of the Hindu way of life both at normative and behavioural levels, we find that each member in the family has his or her prescribed sacred duty. General principles of differentiation on the basis of age and sex regulate the relations within the Hindu family, in terms of precedence, obedience and subservience.

Males are more respected than females, and members senior in age command more respect than the younger members. For example, the father is respected more than the mother and has greater authority. The father’s mother by virtue of her age, is respected by all members who are younger to her. It is considered ideal for a man and wife to live with all their married sons in a joint family. They are to be respected and cared for by the sons and their wives and children.

It is expected that the sons and their wives will perform their duties to the satisfaction of the parents, and thereby earn their blessings and religious merit. The sons have a right in their fathers’ ancestral property. The age old rules of inheritance which are still customary gave ownership and inheritance rights to males, while they give only maintenance rights to females. These customary rules continue to prevail even today. 

The Hindu Succession Act and the Hindu

Adoptions and Maintenance Act, 1956, however, introduced some changes. The Act makes the husband legally responsible for the maintenance of his wife and children. According to this Act (which is also applicable to Jains, Buddhists and Sikhs), the property of a Hindu comes down to his sons, daughters, widow and mother. Daughters legally have a share equal to that of sons in their father’s property. In actual practice customs and tradition continue

to be so powerful that very few women are able to take advantage of their rights. From being a member of the primary group, such as the family, one goes on to being a part of one’s lineage and subcaste/caste.